On Receiving Financial Advice in Vail

By Hugh Pedro McGreevey

Where: Passed out in a snow bank near The Red Lion (1:00 a.m., MST).

Why: Overdid it at The Club. Whipped into drinking frenzy by a bard/entertainer called “The Good Times Guy” after he got “Sky Sluts” (i.e. airline stewardesses) to remove their over-garments.

Resuscitated By: James P. McManus, Director, Brookfield Trading, High Yield Desk.

What He Said: “Jesus, H.P., you haven’t looked this pathetic since Youth Hockey League when you had to skate with a chair.”

What I said: “Who are you?”

What We Discussed: Getting long silver. Shorting the dollar. Going long on energy stocks.

His Gist: “The middle class are going to die, H.P. They won’t be able to afford staples, food and milk. Commodity prices are going to the moon. American stability is going to zero. Don’t listen to me. Listen to Jim Rogers, Elliot Prechter. People smarter than us by eons. People that don’t party in snow banks.

H.P.’s Summary: Rich people want to help you. You just have to appear helpless in a place where they happen to ski. For this, you do need “some” money. Consider it an investment in your future. The key is: When you get there, don’t look for them.

McManus’s Parting Words: “I’m going to a party at my chalet with some Swiss supermodels, but good seeing you H.P., keep in touch.”

How I Know at Least Part of What McManus Said Was True: Vail was packed with Euro-trash and hedge fund plutocrats. The difference is this: On the triple chair to Outer Mongolia, an ex-ranked tennis tour professional from Austria invited me to his place in Rio de Janeiro. He promised that we would party together like rock stars. Which tells me two things: 1. The dollar is weak. 2. Americans will share financial advice, but remain stingy, Midwestern shopkeepers at heart.

John Huggins, Aspen #10, 2007, Sears Peyton Gallery, New York