Russophiles

By Terry Gratuity

Can enough good things be said about the sly mordant wit of the New York Times? The paper’s coverage of Russia continues to reach new heights of the sublime; the choice of photos and captions are of such a caliber that contemporary American Russophiles are often reduced to little pools of quivering ecstasy.

Many of us thought the Times could never top its work of this past April 14th: Putin Denies Reports of Divorce; Newspaper Suspended.

That, of course, was the article on Russia's incumbent Prime Minister (and past president) Vladimir Putin and his twenty-four-year-old mistress. The Times chose to highlight the article with a photo of Putin's mistress wearing a spangled leotard, lifting her left leg behind her head. The immortal caption read, "Alina Kabayeva, in 2006 at the Rhythmic Gymnastics European Championships. She has since retired and now holds a seat in Russia’s Parliament." A masterpiece of drollery.

Then on June 15th the seemingly impossible happened. The Times topped itself.

The article was titled “Free and Flush, Russians Eager to Roam Abroad.” The photo featured nine half-naked Russian women flexing by a resort swimming pool in Turkey – A soft porn buffet of female flesh. The caption reads, "A water aerobics class at a hotel in Antalya, Turkey, built for Russian tourists to resemble the Kremlin and St. Basil’s Cathedral."

Where to even begin? The genius of the photographer? The glory of the faux-architecture in back? The eye rolling prose? Built for Russian tourists to resemble the Kremlin and St. Basil's Cathedral! Take that, Trump Taj Mahal. And, yes, of course it's all educational. They're taking a class: A water aerobics class.

A friend sneered that the thugs were missing from the picture. These women didn't come alone. But can the Times do everything?

For what it's worth there is one more picture with the piece – of a fat hairy man in a bathing suit, playing cards with his blond wife and their child. He has a tattoo. And a Nike brand baseball hat. What else is there to say? The cold war was not in vain. The photographer even managed to work the fake Kremlin into that shot too.

Jeffrey Milstein, Virgin Atlantic Airbus A340, 2008, Bonni Benrubi Gallery, New York