Martial, Epigram 2.50

2.50

Quod fellas et aquam potas, nil, Lesbia, peccas.
qua tibi parte opus est, Lesbia, sumis aquam.

This epigram gives translators fits. But only the dunderhead could mistake the poet’s meaning. The conjunction here is not simply copulative, in the technical sense, but also clearly propositional. To further complicate the matter, Martial teases the reluctant reader with his last words: sumis aquam. Craig Williams shows convincingly that this phrase means to wash up after sex. Thus the “water” in the first line is different from the “water” in the second. Some commentators suggest that Lesbia is a call girl. But of course she isn’t: Call girls use condoms. She's is just another poor girlfriend: It’s not her fault. Martial doesn’t blame her. If there were no preening boyfriend to begin with, she wouldn’t be in the position in which she finds herself.

Ryan McGinley, Diving Water, 2007, team (gallery, inc.), New York